Can You Have a Relationship With a Covert Narcissist?

Having a relationship with a covert narcissist can be challenging and potentially harmful to your well-being. Covert narcissism refers to a personality disorder characterized by a person exhibiting narcissistic traits but in a more subtle and less overt manner than those with overt narcissism.

While it's possible to have a relationship with a covert narcissist, it's important to be aware of the potential difficulties and risks involved. Here are a few things to consider:

1. Manipulation and control: Covert narcissists are skilled at manipulation and controlling behaviors. They may use subtle tactics to gain power and influence over their partners. They often employ emotional manipulation, guilt-tripping, gaslighting, and playing the victim to maintain control in the relationship.

2. Lack of empathy: Narcissists, both covert and overt, typically struggle with empathy. They find it challenging to understand and validate the emotions and needs of their partners. This lack of empathy can lead to emotional neglect, invalidation, and a lack of emotional support in the relationship.

3. Low self-esteem: Despite their outward appearance of modesty or introversion, covert narcissists still have underlying feelings of superiority and entitlement. They may have fragile self-esteem and rely on external validation to maintain their self-worth. This can lead to constant seeking of attention and admiration from their partners.

4. Emotional abuse: Covert narcissists may engage in emotional abuse, although it may be less overt than in overt narcissism. They can undermine your self-esteem, make you doubt your perception of reality, and constantly criticize and devalue you. Over time, this can erode your self-confidence and well-being.

5. Difficulty recognizing the problem: One of the challenges of being in a relationship with a covert narcissist is that their manipulative tactics can be subtle and hard to recognize. They may appear caring and sensitive initially, making it difficult to identify the underlying narcissistic tendencies. This can lead to confusion, self-doubt, and a prolonged period of emotional turmoil.

It's important to prioritize your emotional well-being and consider seeking professional help if you suspect you are in a relationship with a covert narcissist. A therapist or counselor can provide guidance, support, and strategies for setting boundaries, improving self-esteem, and making informed decisions about the relationship.

Ultimately, it's crucial to assess whether the relationship is healthy and beneficial for you. Sometimes, ending the relationship or establishing strict boundaries may be necessary to protect yourself and maintain your emotional well-being.